At one point in my life, I came to a startling realization: my pursuit of God had slowly transformed into a pursuit of religion.
Without even noticing, I had become exactly what I tried to avoid for years as a younger skeptic of church. I found myself more focused on the comfort of rules and routines than on the deeply personal, intimate relationship with God that we are all invited to cultivate.
I had lost sight of the true message in Romans 12:
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
It’s incredibly easy to forget this call for transformation and instead fall into patterns that prevent real growth. This happens to many Christians—we get stuck in misconceptions about God, ourselves, and His plans for us. But if you’re feeling distanced from God, don’t be discouraged. There’s always hope for your relationship with Him.
A good first step in renewing this relationship is to confront and replace unhealthy thoughts about God with healthy ones.
When God doesn’t seem appealing to us, we need to dig deeper and find the reasons for our disinterest. Often, it’s our unhealthy assumptions about God, shaped by our own experiences or by the flawed lives of others, that alienate us from His true nature. These misconceptions stand between us and a life-changing connection with Him.
A perfect illustration of this is found in the parable of the bags of gold in Matthew 25:14-25. Three servants are entrusted with different amounts of gold while their master is away. The first two invest wisely and double the money. However, the third servant, who receives the least, hides his gold out of fear. When the master returns, the servant tries to justify his actions by calling the master a “hard man” and admitting his fear. His perception of the master tainted their relationship, which ultimately held him back.
This parable isn’t just about responsibility—it’s about relationships. The first two servants had a healthy relationship with their master, just as God desires with us. The third servant’s fear and mistrust hindered him, much like our misconceptions about God can hinder us.
If your relationship with God feels distant or strained, it might be because you’ve internalized unhealthy beliefs, such as thinking God is harsh, accusing, limiting, or merely demanding a performance. To heal, these thoughts must be transformed into trust and love:
- “He hurts me” becomes “He helps me feel.”
- “He accuses me” becomes “He softens my heart.”
- “He limits me” becomes “He gives me purpose.”
- “He wants a performance” transforms into “He wants a relationship.”
This transformation isn’t just vital for each of us personally, but also for the future of Christianity. When people place themselves at the center of religion, rather than God, it poisons faith. And when faith is poisoned, it doesn’t just harm us—it harms future generations by passing down distorted views of God and themselves.
That’s why it’s so important to re-center God in our lives and in our faith communities. As churches, we should emphasize fostering a close, authentic relationship with God, helping people feel deeply known and loved by Him. It’s crucial that we love God, not just attention or recognition.
This transformation begins with making the Bible our foundation. The Bible isn’t just an authoritative text or a set of rules—it’s an invitation to know God personally. True Christianity is about living in connection with God, grounded in the truth of His word, and showing His love to the world through our actions.
At Bay Area Christian Church, where I have the privilege of serving as executive pastor, we strive to center everything we do around knowing God and doing good. Each day, we pursue a deeper understanding of Him through the Bible, with the goal of making His joy and hope more visible to those around us. The good we do is the natural outcome of our love for God and His love for us. This kind of joyful, simple, and fruitful relationship is only possible when we work to eliminate the unhealthy beliefs we may hold about who God is.
We miss out on the fullness of God’s love and purpose when we cling to the wrong ideas about Him. These false beliefs can affect generations, but right beliefs will transform them as well. When we return to the Christianity God originally gave us, others will see that it is truly transformative, inviting, and life-giving.
The good news is, it’s never too late—and it never will be too late—to rediscover God for yourself.